My Story of Faith

I remember attending a little church that sent a school bus to our apartment complex when I was in early elementary. I honestly can't remember the teachings or why I stopped going. My mom told me she tried to keep sending my brother and I, but we begged her not to. Maybe it felt strange to go without her. I remember going to this very small church with my stepmom and dad when I was about 10. I remember liking the pastor and praying but what I loved most was all the free stuff like toys and food we got after church was over. I had a few friends in my teens invite me to youth group and to church but all of it seemed so foreign to me and my friends seemed very hypocritical to me. They were going out partying with me on Saturday night and then, acting like perfect angels on Sunday morning.

The first time I remember having to really think about God was in an Alateen meeting. You see my mom was a broken woman who had a deep addiction to alcohol. I found such solice in these meetings because other teens knew what it was like to live with an alcoholic. The mentors taught us how to love these broken people and how to see past their fatal flaw. Anyway, one mentor was talking about praying to a higher power. She said if we didn't feel comfortable praying to God, we could replace the word with goddess or something like that. I tried that night to pray to a goddess and I flat out couldn't. I felt that praying to a stuffed animal would have more meaning than praying to a goddess. So I prayed to God. I don't know what I prayed for and I know I did not continue praying after that, but I definitely see it now as moving just a step closer to an unknown God.

When, I met my husband, who had grown up in the faith, he asked if I believed in God and I distinctly remember telling him that I believed in God but not in the Bible. We debated for a few hours over the sanctity of the Bible. I told him that it had been translated too many times by man and how could we possibly know if what we were reading was the truth or even what the author originally wrote. The more we fought, the more I realized I knew very little on the topic but I still stubbornly made my case. 

After we were married, I finally caved in to my husband and decided we should find a church. We tried a few but I always felt like I didn't belong. The preachers were talking to the people who had always attended church and for me, that seemed incredibly intimidating and I felt so naive. Then, we heard of an up and coming church in Belmar called Red Rocks Church. There were about 200 people there which I thought was a pretty large crowd. We had come on the last day of a series called Red. The people who greeted us were warm and welcoming. The people who sat near us were our age and very friendly. The music was just amazing. We decided this was our church. 

The following week, they started a new series called "Go" and they placed a recliner on the stage and talked about getting out of your Christian chair and going to do what God has called you to do. But, for me, it was a calling to Jesus. I realized I wanted what Jesus was offering, peace and joy and an everlasting love. I wanted to know God deeply and to follow Him to the ends of the earth. 

You know what moved me to accept Jesus and to understand the love He had for me when He died on the cross? A song. It's called Sweetly Broken by Jeremy Riddle. The chorus spoke volumes to my soul:

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I'm sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

Lyrics

The next month, I was baptized in a small hot tub at the front of Red Rocks Church in front of my mom, my brother and my husband. 

If you have never received Jesus as your savior, I want you to know that He's waiting for you and loves you. He wants a relationship with you. I know you think this is written to a whole world of people, but this is for you. It can be the start of something so beyond what you could possibly fathom. If you'd like to accept Jesus in your heart, tell Him that you are a sinner and repent of your ways and that today you would like to accept Him as your savior. 

You are so loved and so prayed for,

Chrissy