My Heart For This Blog

Hello all my wonderful friends!

Can I just say that God has really been laying all of you on my heart lately. I think the biggest thing I'm feeling is that everyone (myself included) is looking for a little more authenticity. I love reading blogs and hearing from other Christians, but so often I crave more honesty and openness from the author. I feel like the majority of posts give me a small snapshot into who they are but nothing too revealing. Then, I realized that was precisely what I wanted my blog to be. I wanted to offer advice on things God had revealed to my heart but in a way that appealed to everyone. Now this sounds good in theory, but God didn't create me to blend in (trust me I've tried). He created me to be so fully unique that anyone looking at my life will see His fingerprints. 

For this reason, I changed the name of my blog from Isaiah 26:3 Perfect Peace to Anchor My Soul. Of course, I still want to live in perfect peace, but the thought of perfection actually kinda overwhelms me. I believe my original blogposts were me trying to attain that perfection. Anchor My Soul on the other hand is me just being me. I'm broken and have doubts about my faith. I say mean things when I'm angry and I cry at the most embarrassing moments (like when I made my maid of honor speech at my best friend's wedding). My life is often times so overwhelming because of all the choices I have to make and the realities I have to face. The only thing that keeps me anchored is God. He is my hope, my first love and my best friend who has been by my side since the moment I was created. 

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure

Hebrews 6:19a

Here are my promises to you: 

1. I will be open and honest with how I am struggling in my life
2. I will not pretend to have all the answers
3. This is a safe place to talk with you and for you to talk with me
4. I will not judge you
5. Grace will be given on a frequent basis

As I stated in the beginning, God has been laying you on my heart recently. I want you to know that its okay to just be the person He created. Use the gifts He's given you and if you don't know where to start, I'm right there with you. Let's all get on our knees this week and ask God for guidance and the freedom to just be who we are. I love you so much, but God loves you more. Yes, I know I'm cheesy.

Yours sincerely,
Chrissy

My Story of Faith

I remember attending a little church that sent a school bus to our apartment complex when I was in early elementary. I honestly can't remember the teachings or why I stopped going. My mom told me she tried to keep sending my brother and I, but we begged her not to. Maybe it felt strange to go without her. I remember going to this very small church with my stepmom and dad when I was about 10. I remember liking the pastor and praying but what I loved most was all the free stuff like toys and food we got after church was over. I had a few friends in my teens invite me to youth group and to church but all of it seemed so foreign to me and my friends seemed very hypocritical to me. They were going out partying with me on Saturday night and then, acting like perfect angels on Sunday morning.

The first time I remember having to really think about God was in an Alateen meeting. You see my mom was a broken woman who had a deep addiction to alcohol. I found such solice in these meetings because other teens knew what it was like to live with an alcoholic. The mentors taught us how to love these broken people and how to see past their fatal flaw. Anyway, one mentor was talking about praying to a higher power. She said if we didn't feel comfortable praying to God, we could replace the word with goddess or something like that. I tried that night to pray to a goddess and I flat out couldn't. I felt that praying to a stuffed animal would have more meaning than praying to a goddess. So I prayed to God. I don't know what I prayed for and I know I did not continue praying after that, but I definitely see it now as moving just a step closer to an unknown God.

When, I met my husband, who had grown up in the faith, he asked if I believed in God and I distinctly remember telling him that I believed in God but not in the Bible. We debated for a few hours over the sanctity of the Bible. I told him that it had been translated too many times by man and how could we possibly know if what we were reading was the truth or even what the author originally wrote. The more we fought, the more I realized I knew very little on the topic but I still stubbornly made my case. 

After we were married, I finally caved in to my husband and decided we should find a church. We tried a few but I always felt like I didn't belong. The preachers were talking to the people who had always attended church and for me, that seemed incredibly intimidating and I felt so naive. Then, we heard of an up and coming church in Belmar called Red Rocks Church. There were about 200 people there which I thought was a pretty large crowd. We had come on the last day of a series called Red. The people who greeted us were warm and welcoming. The people who sat near us were our age and very friendly. The music was just amazing. We decided this was our church. 

The following week, they started a new series called "Go" and they placed a recliner on the stage and talked about getting out of your Christian chair and going to do what God has called you to do. But, for me, it was a calling to Jesus. I realized I wanted what Jesus was offering, peace and joy and an everlasting love. I wanted to know God deeply and to follow Him to the ends of the earth. 

You know what moved me to accept Jesus and to understand the love He had for me when He died on the cross? A song. It's called Sweetly Broken by Jeremy Riddle. The chorus spoke volumes to my soul:

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I'm sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

Lyrics

The next month, I was baptized in a small hot tub at the front of Red Rocks Church in front of my mom, my brother and my husband. 

If you have never received Jesus as your savior, I want you to know that He's waiting for you and loves you. He wants a relationship with you. I know you think this is written to a whole world of people, but this is for you. It can be the start of something so beyond what you could possibly fathom. If you'd like to accept Jesus in your heart, tell Him that you are a sinner and repent of your ways and that today you would like to accept Him as your savior. 

You are so loved and so prayed for,

Chrissy 

Psalm 40:8

I take joy in doing your will, my God, for your instructions are written on my heart.” 

I realized something this morning. My future self is perfect. She prays every single morning before anyone awakes, she sends thoughtful emails, she always remembers a friend's birthday, she's always kind and caring towards her husband and children. The present me, not so much. I do not have everything together, I forget birthdays, miss milestones and most mornings I would rather sleep a few extra minutes than wake up in prayer. I often get caught up on Facebook or in playing Sudoku on my phone that I miss what's happening right next to me. Hours pass me by that I can never have back. The power of God's grace is something I desperately need daily. I repent of my shortcomings of the day and He is merciful in forgiving me. However, he placed something critical on my heart this week, I need to be intentional with my relationship with Him and with others. It got me thinking, what does being intentional look like?

Speaking to God My time with God is often spent by me rushing through a few devotionals and some scripture so one of my daily tasks will be checked off. Our God is relational though. He longs to hear my needs and speak life over all the areas that are slowly withering away. When I shut God out, I am missing out on not only His love and His amazing peace, but also His wisdom. So, what does this realistically look like? It is me pouring my worries and my struggles out to my Papa. I prefer a journal at times and at others, I find quiet prayer time to be better. I've also used the notes section in my bible app. The most important part is the intentional connection with our wonderful God. 

Hearing from God When you have spent intentional time talking to God, it is equally important to keep your spirit open to hearing from God. He will answer you, but typically I have found His answers to come in gentle whispers that I can miss if I'm not proactive in listening. The majority of the answers I've personally received have come from reading the Bible. Pouring over the book that God wrote Himself can never be a bad thing. His riches and His love and His promises are all encompassed in that one book! I personally am doing a plan that has me read through the bible in a year where I read 2 chapters of the Old Testament, half a chapter of the New Testament and then, one chapter of Psalms a day. But, I've also done ones where I just read a Psalm or Proverb a day or a chapter a day from the New Testament. However you decide to go through the bible, I promise you will not be disappointed in the results. Anyway, I could go on about the Bible all day. Back to hearing from God. I've also heard Him answer a question on my heart through a song, through a friend, even through a post on Facebook. Open your heart to our Mighty Counselor and He will pour wisdom into your soul.

Loving Others This is an area I really struggle with. Have you ever gone to lunch with someone and they keep checking their phone? I've been that person. God is laying on my heart that I need to be intentional with being present around others. The smart phone is an amazing device but it is a major time stealer. So, what can we do? First off, if you are in another human being's presence, whether it be a child or an elder, put the phone down and only check it if it's a priority. Make sure to make eye contact with the person you're speaking with and truly engage with what they're saying. Be intentional with not only your words but also with your listening ears. If your child wants to play Chutes and Ladders for the hundredth time today, do it because those are the memories he is going to take with him for life. If your husband is complaining about the guy at work again, stop and ask questions about why it bothers him. Lastly, if a friend has taken the time out of their day to have lunch with you, put the phone away. Listen and engage.

So, the future me doesn't exist. Only the broken me that continuously fails at all of this intentional stuff. So, what do you say we all lay all of our brokenness at His feet and start asking for wisdom and for guidance?

I take joy in doing your will, my God, for your instructions are written on my heart.” 

Lord,

I thank you for every person who reads this post. Today, I ask that each of us can lean on Your grace and ask that You give us the strength to be intentional every day. I ask You to show us how to be a mighty warrior in this world. I pray that You will remove the lie from the enemy saying that we need more "me" time. We need more God time, more time focusing on Your love for us, and more time pouring Your love into others. Lord, give us the tools we need to be intentional in the circumstances You've given us. Help us to remember how relational You are. Most of all, I pray that each person reading this will feel completely compelled to seek You in a new and powerful way.

In Jesus name,

Amen